Facebook Post: 2020-04-11T18:53:18

You know how you can tell a conspiracy theory is absolute utter shite?

The person telling everyone about it is alive. People that know about real conspiracies end up dead before they can share that information. Jeffrey Epstein was just such an individual. His death became a meme, people laughed, irony remained dead.

But COVID-19? Oh boy, now there’s a conspiracy you can sink your teeth into!

The numbers are being faked! Those death certificates are deliberately being filled out wrong! It’s a means to control the population! They’re going to declare Martial Law! It was made in a lab and released! The US knew about in October! Sentient bats?! WTH?

Congratulations, your Pulitzer for Investigatory Journalism should be arriving by mail any day now. Please pay no attention to the white powdery substance in the package, it’s just the residue of the chem trails from flying over the USPS Black Site in Southern Utah.

By Dan Granot

I chose the Shorter Whitman because of his work, "Song of Myself" and because of my self-deprecating sense of humor. I am under no illusion that I can write successful essays or poetry, but I have been known to write them anyway.

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