The April Fools Joke that Wasn’t

Imagine the scene, if you will…

It is April 2nd, 2014, and this short, fat guy of medium age is sitting in the corner of the local cabana.  A musical number is playing in the background.  Something by Miles Davis, perhaps.  Fine white smoke rises from his $20 stogie, swirling around the fedora that is perched at a jaunty angle on his head.  He has a two day growth of beard on his face and an impressive mustache frames his lips, which curve into a smile as he takes a swallow of the dark porter chilling in a tall glass before him.  His eyes seem lost in reflection; perhaps he is musing on the events of days gone by…

People often wonder what goes on inside my head.  Well, let’s assume that I’m thinking about things that were going on between March 28th, 2014 and April 1st, 2014.  Assuming further, let’s say I was thinking about these events on April 2nd, 2014.  Now, with those assumptions in mind, say you walk up to me at that time, knowing that I am ruminating about things in the very near past, and you ask me, “Dan, how do you currently envision yourself?”

Well there you go, now you know.  But that isn’t the question you really wanted to ask.  No, the one you wanted to ask was, “Dan, what the hell are you thinking about that has you thinking of yourself as a main character in a Mickey Spillane novel?”  Yes, that is the better question…

By Dan Granot

I chose the Shorter Whitman because of his work, "Song of Myself" and because of my self-deprecating sense of humor. I am under no illusion that I can write successful essays or poetry, but I have been known to write them anyway.

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