Running for the Republicans

So yesterday I posited the idea of running for the Democrats as a non-Democrat, and not in the Bernie Sanders kind of why.  I can’t say I’d do the same for the Republicans, at least not at this time.  The first reason is that the Democratic party has, at least locally, accepted the notion that they are a party in disarray.  They know this.  Second, I can get behind a lot of their social programs without accepting their economic ones.  The Republican party?  Yeah, not so much, and it might be because I came from them originally.  I’ve found I disagree with many of their social stances, and I’m opposed to their attempts to push the Christian religion as the basis for our government and policy decisions.  On paper, I agree with many of their stated goals, at least as far as limited government and fiscal spending go, but in reality I have found that they have no desire to actually abide by those ideals.  It’s not a sales thing, or a presentation of the platform, it’s that in many ways, they are actively working against their stated principles.  To me that’s a longer row to hoe.  I also think that, as a party, they are still unaware of just how broken they are – Even as they laud their victories in the last election, they fail to see that many of those victories were on the back of Trump’s platform, which ironically, was similar to President Obama’s.  Change.  The people aren’t happy with the status quo and they’re looking for options.

I don’t think politics will ever change, but it could be an interesting political landscape in the next few years.

Friday Humor – With Ten Minutes to Spare

First a couple sent over by Mr. Dave.  No, not Letterman, but still a Montana Resident and just as funny.

*It’s so cold out that necrophiliacs are telling their boyfriends to warm up their hands

*If you drink the water in Russia….  Do you get the Troskys?           * Come on now, I know I can’t be the only one that’s ever wondered*

-‘Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, ‘Does he taste funny to you?’  -Tommy Cooper

-‘My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the hell she is.’ -Ellen DeGeneres

-‘I like to play chess with old men in the park, although it’s hard to find 32 of them.’ -Emo Phillips

-‘I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.’ -Spike Milligan    *He does bring up a good point, though I don’t think it’s out of deliberate spite…*

-‘I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink and be Mary.’ -George Carlin    *I thought it was a good time of the year for this*

-‘I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m so indebted to her for.’ -WC Fields

And finally, one I’ve taken from the Eddie Murphy movie, “Coming to America“.

A man goes into a restaurant. You listenin’? A man goes into a restaurant. He sits down, he’s havin’ a bowl of soup. He says to the waiter; “Waiter, come taste the soup.”

Waiter says; “Is there something wrong with the soup?”

He says; “Taste the soup.”

Waiter says; “Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot?”

He says; “Will you taste the soup?”,

Waiter says;”What’s wrong is the soup too cold?”,

He says;”Will you just taste the soup?”,

Waiter says;”All right, I’ll taste the soup. Where’s the spoon?”,

He says; “Ah-ha!”……………”Ah-ha”…………….

Tuesdays…

Tuesdays don’t get much in the way of respect or regard.  As the day immediately following the dreaded and much maligned Monday, Tuesday is often regarded as Monday+, or the 2nd Monday.  Not much love there considering the typically hate that Monday receives.  And unlike a Wednesday or a Thursday, which are viewed in a more positive light given their relative position to the weekend, Tuesday offers no hope of impending salvation, no anticipation of just one more day.  It’s the uphill slope of your week and there’s no seeing the weekend on the other side.  So, in light of this, I offer a Tuesday funny.

 

Chivalry is dead

I do not believe that chivalry is dead, but I do think that landscape of combat has changed dramatically…

Monday jokes

We can always use a little humor in our lives, because if it got too big, it might not fit…  So with that in mind here are some jokes for Monday!

There’s a band called 1023MB.    They haven’t had any gigs yet.

 

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.  The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gasses here.”  He doesn’t react.

 

Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero?   He’s 0K now.

 

It’s not easy being a self-made man…   unless you have an Oedipus Complex and a time machine.

 

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?   A fish.

 

There are two types of people in this world.  Those that can extrapolate to find missing information.

 

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?  To get to the same side.