A little humor for the day

My morning started out with a bang- I wish it had started with a drink.  So to lighten things up and keep my sense of humor, I offer a few jokes I found.

1)  Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

2)My wife accused me of being immature.

I told her to get out of my fort.

3)What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A pool table.

4)A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells “Don’t do it!  You have so much potential!”

5)The first rule of Alzheimer’s club, is don’t talk about chess club.

So there you go, some humor for a Wednesday.

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About Dan Granot

I chose the Shorter Whitman because of his work, "Song of Myself" and because of my self-deprecating sense of humor. I am under no illusion that I can write successful essays or poetry, but I have been known to write them anyway.

4 Responses to A little humor for the day

  1. David Bullis says:

    A 12-year-old walks into a bar. He says to the waitress,”I want some scotch.”
    “Do you want to get me in trouble?”
    “Maybe later. Right now I want some scotch.”

  2. David Bullis says:

    Why do the Norwegians and Swedes hate each other so much?
    They have to – Nobody else can tell them apart.

    English/Irish Czech/Slovak ……

  3. Dan Granot says:

    I love it! Your second joke reminds me of another one I read today.

    How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Just one, they are extremely efficient and apparently don’t have a sense of humor.

  4. David Bullis says:

    How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
    Real men aren’t afraid of the dark.

    Two old Jewish men are sitting on a bench in a Jerusalem park.
    “I only get my news from the Jerusalem Post.”
    “I only watch Al Jazeera.”
    “But why?”
    “If I read the Post we are a small country with demographic problems in a bad world economy under constant threats on all sides and continual war.
    If I watch Al Jazeera – We run the World!”

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