Jade(d) Texas

So, it’s now a week or so into Operation Jade Helm.  For those of you at home who have not been watching Fox News, Operation Jade Helm is covert exercise disguised as a very public training operation located in the southern states.  It’s purpose, so we’re given to understand by certain conservative and ultra-conservative outlets is to take over Texas, implementing some sort of martial law in an attempt to…well, that’s where it gets kind of confusing.  Texas is already part of the union.  Already pays taxes.  Has contributed plenty of members to the armed services and has a couple of resident Presidents.  Umm… Yes, apparently Texas needs a good martial lawing and our military is just the sort to do it!

I am sure in the coming weeks, as cartographers rush to update their maps to show Texas as an occupied territory and the direct to video movie showing the courage of the Texan resistance against the morally corrupt government oppressors is released, we shall have time to rue our naivete in thinking that our government would never dare to commit to a military operation against its own citizens.

Until then, I guess I shall wait and continue to be warned.  I wonder if there is some sort of 7th Day Adventists type club for conspiracy theorists…

Humor- just be sure to wear rubber soled shoes.

Had Mark Twain been alive today, I am fairly confident he would have written some of these yarns.  More clever than Dilbert, more honest than Office Space, I confess that my mind sometimes works exactly as the (an?)protaganist of this series.

For your weekend entertainment and light reading, I submit to you….  The BOFH

Friday humor for Dave

1. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

3. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

4. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”.
“Time travel”
“When do we want it?”.

7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.

9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”

10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.